A Lot of Energy

As I gaze out of the rather large coffee shop window, across the train tracks to a lime green building, I’ve come to understand a few things.

The most important being a lot of energy goes into creating and then organising an ordinary life.

You need to find a house, make new friends, hunt down a job, fill out forms, catch the train, wash, cook, clean, and then repeat it over and over again.

I’ve also come to understand that anyone who has to re-create and re-organise an ordinary life in a place where they:

a) can count the number of people they know on one hand,

b) need to learn new squiggles that pass as an alphabet (and in the process wonder how it came to be that random squiggles in general became such a cornerstone of society) and

c) have to then attach audio to said squiggles and move their mouth or wiggle their ears in an effort to understand and be understood

all the while attempting to do the above plus sightsee and remember to enjoy it deserves a medal for bravery (or stupidity).

One task completed; the outside of my apartment
The entrance to Nakano Broadway - mecca of cheap clothes, cheap eats and some funky Manga stores complete with toys
Not only does the time it takes to do even the most simple tasks multiple by 3 (read working out how to use the washing machine), your estimation of how clever you are drops by a magnitude of 300.

It’s humbling to have to ask someone in the supermarket ‘Is this soy sauce?’ and then accept with dignity the ‘ no, you probably don’t want to drink that’.

It’s embarrassing to head to the bathroom initially delighted it’s one of those ‘quirky’ Japanese toilets (with heated seats and lots of buttons on the armrest). So, like a two year old, start pressing all the buttons, only to discover you can’t read which button turns off the jet of water, turns down the music or flushes the toilet (then 15 minutes later, surreptitiously emerge and exit the café as quickly as possible in the hope other customers won’t notice and wonder why you spent so long there.)

It's ok, self confidence comes in the form of a sugar stirrer (if you can't see it, click on the image to enlarge)
However, there are a few changes you can make to help smooth this transition.

For appointments or meetings, add at least 20 minutes to allow for deciphering the correct train station (Okigubo is not Okubo) then the correct train line, direction, platform, then whether it’s express and the number of stops, then navigating the tide of people heading the opposite direction who are intent on sweeping you under with them (add another 10 minutes if you're at Shibuya).

The incoming Shibuyan tide
Navigating the sea of humans
When supermarket shopping, initially limit yourself to food that has pictorial instructions and clear packaging (especially if you are such a marvellous cooking ludite as I).

This is important because you need to be able to see exactly what’s inside the package, whether you grill, boil or cook it and whether you need to buy anything else to make the delicious looking meal on the front.

sidenote: it’s also ok to sniff food – this helps determine if it's friend or foe (dogs and cats aren't that stupid).


Important messages are translated into English. They are good for identifying people who have just moved to Japan as they will be staring intently at any advertising and moving their mouthes with furrowed brows trying to learn the hiragana 
Before commencing any conversation, script and rehearse it.

In the unfortunate case the person works in any service industry or is someone you can't practise with prior, make up their responses and proceed with your reply in live circumstances (regardless of what they actually say).

This is important because otherwise you panic and may make the mistake of saying ‘Eego ga wakarimasen (I don’t understand English)’ instead of Nihongo ga wakarimasen (I don’t speak Japanese) at which point the conversation will invariably end with an embarrassed ‘eeeyyy….suminasai, arigatou, suminasai, arigatou’ (excuse me, thank you, excuse me, thank you)

Well, a-no…..this is certainly not the first post I had intented.

I had meant to describe my exciting experience thus far, all the things I had been doing, the people I’d met and some of the sites I’d seen, instead I leave you with some pointers on how to survive if you choose to undertake the brave (or stupid) step of moving to a new country where you know no one.